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The Language of Emotions: What Your Feelings Are Trying to Tell You, by Karla McLaren
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Your emotions contain brilliant information. When you learn to welcome them as your allies, they can reveal creative solutions to any situation. For 35 years, empathic counselor and researcher Karla McLaren has developed a set of practical tools for the real-world stresses of family, career, and the quest for personal fulfillment. In The Language of Emotions, she presents her breakthrough teachings for a new and empowering relationship with your feeling states.
Your emotions—especially the dark and dishonored ones—hold a tremendous amount of energy. We’ve all seen what happens when we repress or blindly express them. However, there is a powerful alternative. In The Language of Emotions, you’ll learn to meet your emotions and engage with them to safely move toward resolution and equilibrium. Through experiential exercises covering a full spectrum of feelings from anger, fear, and shame to jealousy, grief, joy, and more, you will discover how to work with your own and others’ emotions with fluency and expertise.
When we relate to our emotions with respect and authenticity, we can directly access our innermost wisdom, unfold the deepest parts of ourselves, and heal our most painful wounds. The Language of Emotions gives us a much-needed resource for self-understanding and freedom:
- How to overcome addictions, distractions, and unresolved trauma—the three primary impediments to emotional ease
- Using the energy of anger to protect and restore personal boundaries
- Step-by-step guidance in the five skills of the empath (someone skilled in reading emotions)
- How to balance your “quaternity,” a metaphor for the interplay of mind, body, spirit, and emotions
- Honoring sadness as a source of release and rejuvenation
Joy, the natural response to beauty and communion
Praise
“In my graduate education in counseling psychology, I found very little information about our emotions. Yet in my work as a therapist and educator, I’ve seen that emotions are key to healing. Karla McLaren’s book offers an outstanding guide to the signals and messages emotions send us, along with clear instructions for intelligent and emotion-supporting actions we can take in response. Karla has made a huge contribution to the well-being of us all; The Language of Emotions will become required reading in all of my courses.”—Nancy —Feehan, MFT, adjunct professor of counseling psychology at the University of San Francisco
“Karla McLaren’s unique, empathic view of emotions surprisingly revalues even the most ‘negative’ emotions and opens pathways to understanding the depths of the human soul.”
—Michael Meade, author of The World Behind the World and The Water of Life
“This book changed the way I relate to others, and to myself, forever.”
—Gavin De Becker, author of The Gift of Fear
Table of Contents
Part I: Restoring Your Native Language
Introduction- Creating a Conscious Life
My Empathic Journey- The Difficult Beginnings of Empathy
Troubled Waters – How We Got So Confused
It Takes a Village – Surrounding Your Emotions With Support
Reviving Your Essential Nature – Making Room for Your Central Self
Avoidance, Addiction, and Awakening—Understanding the Need for Distractions
Unintentional Shamans—The Role of Trauma in Soul-Making and Culture-Binding
The Role of Emotions in the Resolution of Trauma—Water Will Carry You Home
The Steadfast Promise – Why Love is Not an Emotion
Building Your Raft—The Five Empathic Skills
PART II : Embracing Your Emotions
Wading Into the Water – Awakening All of Your EmotionsAnger: Protection and Restoration—Includes Rage, Fury, and the Healing of Trauma
Apathy and Boredom—The Mask for Anger
Guilt and Shame—Restoring Integrity
Hatred—The Profound Mirror—Includes Resentment, Contempt, Disgust, and Shadow Work
Fear: Intuition and Action – Includes Anxiety, Worry, and the Healing of Trauma
Confusion: The Mask for Fear
Jealousy and Envy: Relational Radar—Includes Greed
Panic and Terror: Frozen Fire – Includes Healing from Trauma
Sadness: Release and Rejuvenation: Includes Despair and Despondency
Grief: The Deep River of the Soul
Depression: Ingenious Stagnation—Focusing on Situational Depression
Suicidal Urges: The Darkness Before Dawn
Happiness: Amusement and Anticipation
Contentment: Appreciation and Recognition
Joy: Affinity and Communion—Includes Exhilaration and Honoring Happiness in Others
Stress and Resistance: Understanding Emotional Physics
Emotions Are Your Native Language—The Fine Art of a Life Well Lived - Sales Rank: #18083 in Books
- Brand: Brand:
- Published on: 2010-06-01
- Released on: 2010-06-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x 1.25" w x 6.00" l, 1.16 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 432 pages
Features
- Used Book in Good Condition
Review
"In my graduate education in counseling psychology, I found very little information about our emotions. Yet in my work as a therapist and educator, I've seen that emotions are key to healing. Karla McLaren's book offers an outstanding guide to the signals and messages emotions send us, along with clear instructions for intelligent and emotion-supporting actions we can take in response. Karla has made a huge contribution to the well-being of us all; The Language of Emotions will become required reading in all of my courses."
—Nancy Feehan, MFT, adjunct professor of counseling psychology at the University of San Francisco
"Karla McLaren's unique, empathic view of emotions surprisingly revalues even the most "negative" emotions and opens pathways to understanding the depths of the human soul."
—Michael Meade, author of The World Behind the World and The Water of Life
"This book changed the way I relate to others, and to myself, forever."
—Gavin De Becker, author of The Gift of Fear
About the Author
Karla McLaren
Empath Karla McLaren is an award-winning author, social science researcher, and pioneering educator whose empathic approach to emotions has taken her through the healing of her own childhood trauma, into a healing career, and now into the study of sociology, anthropology, neurology, cognitive psychology, and education. She is the author of The Language of Emotions: What Your Feelings Are Trying to Tell You (Sounds True, 2010), the online course Emotional Flow: Becoming Fluent in the Language of Emotions (Sounds True, 2012) and The Art of Empathy: A Complete Guide to Life's Most Essential Skill (October, 2013).
Karla has taught at such venues as the University of San Francisco, Omega Institute, Naropa University, Kripalu, and the Association for Humanistic Psychology. Additionally, as a prison arts educator with the William James Foundation, she has utilized singing, drumming, and drama to help men in maximum security prisons explore and heal long-held emotional traumas. She is currently developing new forms of Empathy and Social Interaction curricula for neurologically diverse populations.
Karla lives in California with her husband, Tino Plank, a Master's level nurse educator who works in hospice and end-of-life care.
Most helpful customer reviews
16 of 16 people found the following review helpful.
Total reset to my internal dialogue
By Enginerd
I just finished this book last night and it is incredible. I'm an engineer/introvert who's been learning to bury my emotions my whole life. Reading this book has been a total reset to my internal dialogue. The 1-star reviews are critical that the author doesn't back up her claims with studies, and they are 100% correct. However I don't know how you conduct a double-blind study on what anger/fear are trying to tell you. As I read the book I had a couple of thoughts bouncing around my head: "how can she possibly back up these claims" and almost simultaneously "she's a GENIUS". The bottom line is what she says just fits. The hardest one to come to terms with for me was the chapter on hate but eventually after thorough examination and reflection I had to conclude that she was right. Yes the first half of the book is repetitive but as other reviewers have suggested I believe it is necessary to help break the lifelong conditioning we've had on ignoring our emotions. The author says it's okay to jump around the book a bit but I read it straight through and recommend you do the same.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
My Emotional Bible
By S. Robertson
The Language of Emotions is such great book. I had to keep my highlighter in my hand and ready to use while reading. Even on the few parts that I didn't quite agree with or understand, there was so much information that I not only learned from about but there was so much that resonated with me in many ways. I received a lot of confirmation and clarity on things that I believed or felt but didn't know how to quite verbalize. As a person who always feels and who has come to value and honor my emotions, I am grateful for the author for expanding my perspective about the beauty and depths of my feelings and how to truly flow into and with them for a deeper experience. This book will stay by bedside to use as a point of reference and I recommend it to all.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Possibly the greatest self help book ever
By M. Morris
I am still in the midst of reading this book, but after digesting the information in the book I realize this information is truly groundbreaking in the area of emotional discovery. I don't think many other books come close to really getting to the heart of what bothers us in life and what prevents us from taking action in such a principled core way. This book really focuses on getting us to harness the abilities of ourselves to act, feel, think and dream in a balanced and consistent way in order to solve our imbalances and insecurities. When I read this book I think other self help gurus must be slapping their palms against their foreheads realizing what they've been missing in their instruction. This is not just a book you just rush through though, I find myself having to go back and re-learn and really learn how to develop the knowledge within me. This book does take a patient mindset as some of the exercises can take a while both to understand and for you to be able to assimilate them into your own lives. But this is definitely groundbreaking for those looking to understand just how to feel in relation to the world. If there is one complaint I would have about this book is that I don't think it truly points out that our imagination is not only for creative purposes it also allows us to visualize things that sometimes bother us and that allows us to truly separate the emotion we're feeling from the thought in a natural way and then we are able to logically look at the emotional thought. I think I've read over 150 books in the last 5 years and this one has already jumped to being in my top three! It really does cover so much without getting into a hundred different areas of things. If you want a truly principled foundation to start your psychological journey of discovery this book is it!
See all 145 customer reviews...
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